I Walked Out Into the Deepening Twilight

I walked out into the deepening twilight, amazed at the Spring warmth. The buildings around me were tall boxes etched into a deep blue sky, as if wrapped in dark, rich velvet, gently lined with the faintest wash of fading rose.

The sidewalk was mine. Far ahead a panhandler was leaning against my apartment house, far enough past the door to pose no threat to my solitary presence. As always I was alone with my thoughts, wrapped in my own velvet cloak, woven of loneliness, satisfaction, curiosity and passion ...

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I walked out into the deepening twilight then stopped short - when did that new sandwich shop open? Look, there's a crowd of folks in shorts, looks like a damned running club, all loud voices and baseball caps.

I bet they've been feeding on grass for a year.

The shop windows pour light onto the street, its doors pour people.

Shouts of "woo!", "yo" and "cell me" - that bizarre little pinky/thumb waggy motion by the ear.

The crowd breaks up with the easy joviality born of common sweat and satisfaction of common achievement. I wonder why I don't run more, moving more briskly down the street away from the noise ...

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I walked out into the deepening twilight and had to dance. No idea where the music was coming from, if it was even really hitting my eardrums or was all mental.

Maybe if you leaned up against my skull really closely you could pick it up and join in ....

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I walked out into the deepening twilight, saw the sky, slowed my steps.

There is a little patio just before my apartment house; it's bound, chest high, by a fence of wrought-iron pickets, remarkable work.

I stopped to lean on it, to look at the sky, at the final act of the end of the day. In my head I knew there was music to be written, photos to upload, laundry to wash, studying to do.

The grace of quiet, the flow of action; contemplation and participation - the balance seems to come more naturally these days. Perhaps I am getting the hang of living a life based not on how hurt or sad I am but on how well I fit into the world around me.

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Twilight is the moment celebrating light and dark moving in paralell, dancing together. You only really know something is balanced by watching it move, first one side then the other, giving and taking until the next change comes.

Now I have work to do.


-- Post From My iPad