Prices. Losses. Gains.

If there is any mercy at all in the universe then 24 hours from now …

…. a woman, a dear friend, will have  willingly gone through unbelievable, gut-ripping agonies and come out the other side,

…. a man will have re-lived the most terrible, most helpless moment of his life and stood his ground beside the woman he loves

…. a new life will have entered the world and been pronounced both beautiful and healthy by his parents.

Let’s call her Verity - a good New England name. He is Dave. 

The new young person we’ll call Fender.

Tuesday (it is now Wednesday, just after Midnight) I stopped in to visit Verity. We met through tango and are blessed with the kind of friendship based on listening and talking. 

We had mugs of tea, she let me feel Fender’s foot - he was in launch position, head on her pelvis, waiting for the window to open up.

The delivery would be induced today (Wednesday) starting about 7 hours from now.  Verity’s child by her first husband was now 5 or so, a precocious proto-ballerina who ate only organic food and went to sleep listening to Enya every night.  She had been 9 pounds and it was perfect agony for Verity.

Fender was clocking it at 10.5 pounds. At least.

So we talked about being scared, of seeing something you knew would be perfectly painful, PAINFUL, P*A*I*N*F*U*L*L - and being perfectly incapable of doing anything about it. 

I have absolutely no frame of reference for the pain of childbirth nor the exhilaration that comes afterwards - the sensory wiring just isn’t there for me.  

But I do know how it feels to be frightened of something massive that cannot be avoided. Tea with sympathy if not empathy.

To compound it her husband of less than a year was also preparing for his own ordeal. His first wife had died during the delivery of his youngest daughter.  He had loved his wife very much.  Her death had been completely unexpected.

I become strongly attached to people in all my close relationships - it frightens me a lot of the time - probably frightens people I know even more.   I’ve never gotten married because my standards are too high - I’ll never meet them. My example is how my father treated my late mother, a story I’ll tell another time - but if I love someone I mean to love them without reservation.

To consider losing that person at the moment of gaining a new life, to have a person you have chosen to love more than any other just die - I can’t imagine anything more terrifying.

And Dave is about to go through that again. I suspect he’s ready for it because he’s the kind of guy who’ll be there for Verity no matter what it costs.  Even if all the burning flames of Hell itself surround the bed by damn he is going to be there at her side.

I like him. I like the way he rolls.

So the cards are on the table and I don’t know what they will say when all is finished.

My hope  and best, most rational suspicion is that it will work out - Verity is physically very strong, a triathlete, when younger an Olympic-level snowboarder and she will get through it.

Dave will come through too because that’s the kind of person he is.

And Fender?

How do you think a kid with those kinds of parents will turn out?

You do? Really?

Yeah, I think so too.

Still, keep a good thought today.