A lot to write about today ... President Obama finally got off one of the most contentious fences in modern politics by declaring himself in favor of same-sex marriage. It felt a long time coming and I can see the political calculus but still, it happened.
As of Tuesday, yesterday, I'd walked 10.49 miles - usually I try to do 10 in a week. Having a good book to listen to helps - still, it seems very surprising to walk so far, so soon.
Even though there is a tango practica later this evening I might well run up the numbers another couple of miles - besides, Abe Lincoln, vampire hunter, has just gone to Washington and I cannot wait to hear what happens next.
I'm grateful that mundane amusements are starting to register since many scary and wonderful things have been taking up my focus.
When you mix a piece of music, especially the sort of wide-ranging sound I tend to write in my tangos, you have to balance loud and soft sounds. This trick is called "compression", making the louds softer so they don't spike the circuits and making the quiets louder, so they don't get lost in the mix.
I have routines built into my software that allow me to do this - I just have to remember to use it.
The problem is that when used injudiciously a bland sound results. There is no energy, no emotional room to maneuver. It just kind of roars, it sounds dull.
The trick is to let the highs be striking, the lows be beguiling.
I think it happens with emotions too. Experiencing the fear of losing Charity, real fear, fed by earlier losses that might or might not been expressed, re-experiencing those .... well, after all that your feelings can become a kind of dull roar.
When an explosion happens your ears go a little deaf and it takes a while for things to settle down - for the louds to have their energy and the quiets to have their grace. The noise subsides and you can hear the extremes of sound that give it variety and expression.
Emotional explosions work the same way, from what I can see. For a few days I FELT BIG THINGS and HAD IMPORTANT THOUGHTS and WORRIED and HAD INCREDIBLE JOY and after a while EVERYTHING SEEMED TO BE THAT WAY NO MATTER HOW IMPORTANT OR TRIVIAL.
Each wave has a unique sound. Snowflakes have their own shape. A dance can tell a different story even with the same music.
It comes in time, if you let it.
Portland, ME
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