The end of another full, interesting day. Catching up with another blog post, having a small Scotch before bed. Tomorrow will begin the same as today; I'm at the Orchard for an 8 a.m. lesson and thence out to Gorham for an Inuk rehearsal.
Friday will be a day off. Life maintenance.
I love my job. I'm fortunate that it fulfills my desire to connect with people, pays the rent and supports my eventual retirement.
It also has its odd little rewards. The other teachers have gotten small gifts from folks they've worked with - handmade donuts, brownies, a box of barbecue dry rubs, instantly shared out with everyone.
I got a DVD of Biblical Prophecy and Endtimes Scriptures.
I'm told there were some good recipes on it, though.
Just like Pearl Buck's famous creative person quote implies, I'm too sensitive not to draw sad comparisons of my personal worth with that of my colleagues, measured in grams of carbohydrate and milligrams of sugar.
Well, that all changed today. A gentleman I've worked with who hails from Lewiston gave me my own genuine whoopie pie from the Italian Bakery down behind Lewiston H.S., where I spent two pointless but entertaining years teaching Band and music.
Photo above. It's the only record that remains, once I've tossed the wrapper.
Earlier tonight I had a chance to celebrate by winding myself up with tango. Our regular Wednesday practica gave me a chance to just focus on movement, music and my body. I love the sense of pure movement, non verbal, focussed on balance and drive, expression and presence.
My French professor friend, Prof. L, is shown at the NorthStar on Monday, taking a second by the piano which we never use.
Tango is coming to mean a lot to me. I'm coming 'round to letting myself take a lot more chances in my life than formerly. About time I caught up with myself.
I have a tango friend who is working on her doctorate in Philosophy at MIT - she's a Kiwi and a richly expressive dancer, very assured in her technique and willing to be a little mad when prompted to be so by a Native American Tanguero.
We got to talking about writing and she brought up her dissertation. I've been reading a copy, for two reasons:
1 - to see what she's thinking about as I almost majored in philosophy right at the beginning of my academic career and 2 - to look for a way to write a tango about it.
I was kind of joking when I made the offer - I think this Kiwi was calling my bluff when she sent it (I did ask and say "pretty please").
That said, her work is on the nature of conflicting desires and how they reflect conflicting behavioural dispositions. That if we desire things that conflict (good coffee and a good night's rest - notice I'm drinking good Scotch right now - McClellan's...) that there may be parts of our psyches that conflict with each other.
At first blush I'd say that if such conflicts are a natural part of our makeups then are they really conflicts? This whole line of thought can lead to some fascinating areas.
Talk about desire and you are very easily into the emotional vocabulary of tango. I can easily imagine - but cannot yet enunciate - a scenario where this dialogue of desire and disposition can play out - and therefore come up with a piece of music that will express it.
This is how I like to think about my feelings.
This is how my feelings grow from what I think.
I know I have to be careful not to be swamped. But I also have to be careful let myself - heart and mind and everything in between - have full space to live and grow.
Not a bad day.
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