I have crossed the Rubicon - taken steps into a new place and I have to say I really have had fun while doing it.
So, here I am at Blue, waiting for a dessert I can neither stomach or afford, really - the only part of me being fed is my soul.
Outside - not only tonight but back to Wednesday - the evenings have become cooler, the air stiffening, becoming more crisp.
The picture here barely captures the complexity of sunsets against the high clouds of the early evening.
I am drawn to walk the streets of the town, listening as the wind in the leaves becomes a drier, more complex sound.
The sound calls the magic at the center of my soul, calls it closer to the surface of my face, makes it glow more richly in my eyes. People see it, I'm convinced they do. Friends join hands in their hearts with me, we become co-conspirators - we pass around melancholy and boisterousness in equal measures, like we're drinking amber wine from shared goatskin.
You never know quite what is going to happen at this time of year. The leaves are preparing to change, Nature is taking a great deep breath as it prepares for Fall.
We opened the Orchard this morning - I will write about that later, the memories are still not formed yet, all I would do is describe what happened and the whirlwind of meanings would be lost.
All told I am grateful for what has happened. It is so hard to just accept it, to breathe it in. I had a moment of pointless, selfish distress yesterday - what saved me was the wonderful thought: "just be here with your friends, just be here. The rest will come."
And that saved me. The shocking truth was that I needed to just be there - be myself and be present and the rest would settle out.
Well, I suppose I should finish up - tomorrow will be another day and I need to get some rest.
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